3 years, 8 months, and 9 days.

1348 days.

That's how long i've been "titanium woman"... also known as tit girl (HS can be so cruel...)

i mean dang, those are in my back?

my first surgeon wast pretty impressed with his cutting skills.

 foot and a half beauty right there.

my little angel.

If you're reading this, chances are you know me, and you know the story of what happened on August 19, 2008. You probably know that this has been one painful trial for me, all 1348 days. But what you don't know is that the emotional pain has surpassed the physical on many occasions. 

For years i have been praying, praying my heart out, and pleading with my Father to know what i need to be doing in my life, to help with the pain. i'm pretty good at masking it, and i'm pretty good at pretending like it doesn't effect me emotionally sometimes, but let me break down right now and tell you the truth.

There is not a moment when i don't feel pain.

& 

if anyone knows back pain, they know that this pain effects everything... especially when you are fused and rodded in EIGHT vertebrae. If you can touch your knee's, if you can put shoes on without having to sit down, i have one thing to say to you. Don't take that for granted. It's like i'm permanently preggo without the belly kinda feeling (not that'd i'd really know what being preggo is like...) and boy do you learn who your best friends are if they are willing to stop what they are doing to put your shoes on or tie them for you in the middle of campus *shoutout to my homegirl B. Udall!

what it all comes to, is 

never. take. simple. things. in. life. for. granted.

i learned that one that one a hard way.

but i also learned it's not about what you cannot do. it's about what you can do. 

and boy can i pray.

It has taken me 1348 days of praying my heart out to make the decision and learn what i did just this past month. 

& 

here's my story of how i got to where i am today, less than TWO days away from getting my rods and hooks out.

After praying a few years back and getting much counsel from numerous people, i decided to get a second opinion on my back as to why i am still in such great pain. i saw doctor after doctor, did physical therapy for a total of almost 2 years, got injections in my back, but the timing just didn't feel right.

 the answer, was no. 

so i continued on with my happy little high-schooler life until the second semester of my senior year, when i started throwing up everything i ate or drank for a month without answers (refer to prior posts if you want that story!) 

now timeout real quick, im a FIRM believer in everything happens for a reason, and while i know the whole throwing up thing and being hospitalized for a week with still no answers taught me patience, and to rely on and trust my savior and father, i also believe it was because it led me to a certain doctor, who planted the idea it was my gall bladder, did the surgery to remove it, and has taken me in with all of my ridiculous health problems,

including my back.

(now tell me this isn't a cool 

pic of my  gall bladder & rods)

on one of my checkups i had been particularly discouraged because i felt like the pain in my back was getting to a point where things needed to change, or i wouldn't be able to perform my best in school or be the kind of mom i want to be. he referred me to one of his friends, and within a couple weeks i was in Dr. Reichman's office with literally 5 lbs of mri reports and xrays. i walked into Dr. R's office and started describing my pain to him. He asked if things such as doing dishes, vacuuming, and lifting little things brings on more pain and without hesitation i beamed and said YES! he stopped me right there as he started thumbing in one of his drawers, only to pull out crinkled up yellow notebook papers. he continued to tell me that what it is, is mechanical pain, and that on these pieces of paper was a list of about 30 patients he had taken rods out of, and based on a check system of 0 checks being no progress and 3 being the most, he showed me how many patients have had improvement with their pain. as i listened to his words, and looked over the paper, peace warmed my heart. i walked out of his office, with the confidence that this was the next step in my healing process, and Dr. R was my guy to help me get there. I walked straight up to the scheduling seat, and that was that. April 30th, i would be back in Utah Valley hospital's O.R. for the second time in a year, to get the rods and hooks out of my back.

 it didn't take long for the doubt to come, and it came on strong. i felt like i was making a big mistake, and that this would only be a waste of my time. i couldnt differentiate if it was satan trying to sway me into  making a decision that wasn't best for me, or if it was the holy ghost trying to help me realize God's plan changed. i prayed my heart out that day, and the next day my mom called with bad news. the hospital i was to have it at was out of network, so they switched me to timpanogos, pushed back the date, and switched doctors. i was absolutely heartbroken, and thought maybe this really is gods way of telling me now is not the time again. I decided to get a blessing from a couple of my friends, and the next day prayed my heart out and fasted. i had a HUGE paper due that day, so as i left my morning class i started walking to the library and was almost there until i was prompted to go to the Mckay building. Even though this is my Major's building, this building was completely foreign to me, so i didn't know why i had the prompting, but i followed it. (now for a short editorial insert... just as i believe a certain doctor was placed in my life for a reason, a missionary i have been writing had told me to randomly get to know one of his friends up at BYU... so i reached out to him and boy this guy was exactly who i needed.) i walked until i found a place to settle for the next 3 hours to write a paper, and looked up to see Creed's face smiling over my way, sweating from conquering the infamous RB stairs moments before. after his class was over, he came and sat with me for a good hour or so, and i couldn't help but feel the spirit so strongly as we spoke. he didn't know the trial i was internally facing, he didn't know i was fasting, and as he said goodbye and left, he didn't know he had just brought peace to my heart, and an answer to my prayers that the decision i made was indeed the right one. just an hour later, my mom called and told me she had good news, everything was back in place the way it originally was and we were good to go.


boyyyyy was that a good day, and boyyyy did that goodness go away real quick.


tuesday, april 17th i was all packed up, saying my final goodbyes as i walked out of the dorms. i got to my sisters house up y mountain, and was left alone in the house as she went to work. i had been having a particularly emotional day, saying goodbyes, having the stress loom over me for a paper i had to hurry and get done before i left for mexico, and other little things, so when my mom called me and said she had bad news, and the bad news was that the hospital wasn't contracted, and they were refusing to negotiate anything with me, i couldn't help but just cry. i walked into the office, got on my knee's, and just prayed that something would work out, and that He would carry me through this. my mom advised me to start looking into surgeons down in Arizona, but that had no appeal to me, because i felt so strongly about getting it done with Dr. R, and i knew i'd run the risk of having to possibly take a semester off in the fall due to starting the process all over again pursuing surgeons, being on their schedule, and the actual process of healing.


i went to mexico, and decided i would leave all my cares back in the states and would figure everything out when we got home. i was a little stressed, because everyone kept asking me about the surgery and i didnt have the answers myself. i was suppose to be headed back to utah on monday, but the hospital& insurance were all saying one thing, while the other was saying another. i decided to stay home, and trust that as i continually prayed,  things would work out.


well, to sum up the next few days, my amazing mother spent probably a total of 10 million hours back and forth on the phone with the hospital and insurance. i did my part calling the hospital, Dr. R's office, and  a couple surgeons offices in arizona, because it was looking like that was what was going to happen. both surgeons told me they wouldnt do the procedure, and i became even less hopeful. i was confused as to why i would be so confident in a decision, and get an answer twice, only for things to fall a part.. but mama corina pressed on with her persistence because i refused to give up myself. on wednesday, my mom called me to tell me that SOMEONE MISLED US and the hospital really was contracted! but dont worry, only an hour or so later, we got another call saying it wasn't, so we were back to square one. holy cow, talk about emotionally exhausting.


at this point, i just decided that whatever happens, no matter how much I HAVE TO PAY, im doing it. later that day, i went to pick up my mama from work, and as Dr. Beck stopped to say bye and wish me luck, my mother decided to inform me that things we're finally back into place. i think she was so sick of telling me a different thing every other hour, that she just forgot to mention the good news. i dont know the details, but i know that whatever happens in the end, is something that has been set in stone and planned many many many years ago.


so basically to sum up everything i have learned...
i have learned that i believe in the power of prayer more than i believe in using common logic sometimes (sorry khalid.. but i told you so! now will you get baptized??)
through the whole experience, i prayed so much my knee's will probably never recover. i never got a yes or no answer, but i think the fact that i felt like i shouldnt give up on going to utah was my answer all along.
i have learned that there are many reasons as to why things happen. who knew i'd learn so many valuable lessons from getting in a car accident?
i have learned people are put into your life for specific reasons, each reason unique, but each reason valuable & extremely necessary.
i have learned that i truly will never understand the pain my Savior went through in the garden. i had an incredible moment while praying, sobbing, asking my father to please take this trial from me. literally guys, sobbing, looking up, face and clothes sopping wet, kind of sobbing. as i started talking with our father, i thought of Christ. this experience has been so very hard and painful in everyway, but the loneliness i felt through this past week does not compare in ANY WAY to my Savior's loneliness and pain. I will forever be grateful for that experience, because the Atonement became even more tangible to me.
i have learned that i seriously have thee best mother in the world. though she didnt understand why i was so emotional about everything and herself didn't see Utah as the best decision, she continued to be my advocate and fight for me. she's my rock. out of all the reasons i want to have this surgery, i think the biggest one is because i want to be a mom. i want to be able to roll around on the floor with my own kids, i want to be able to carry them when they are toddlers, i want to be able to tolerate long road trips in the car and take them places, i want to be able to still manage making dinner every night after being on my feet all day cleaning and running errands for them. i want to be able to do the chores i got off doing growing up because i had the excuse that it simply would and did make my back kill, and leave me in bed for the next day or two. i want to be the mom they deserve, and the mom my mother was to me. i love you mom!
i have learned that i am loved. throughout the week, so many people reached out to me exactly when i needed someone to, to tell me they loved me and are praying for me. and let me reassure you, half of these people don't even know that i'm getting surgery, but they do know their father in heaven, and know when they get a prompting, follow it. so thank you everyone for your prayers!!
i have learned that i seriously have something great in store for me, to be refined as much as the lord has blessed me to be from trial after trial, i know that i will be blessed to do something i love so much to do from these trials, & that is to love people, and help touch their lives from my experiences.
most importantly though,
i learned we are never alone. 
even when we don't ask for HIS presence and grace, he is there holding our hands.
i really cannot describe how alone i felt as i prayed my dang heart out, but looking back i realize i was never alone.
i still have a lot to learn.
i still have a lot to endure.
but i know that whatever complications come from the surgery on monday, whatever (hopefully less) back pain i have to bear to be a powerful mother in zion, whatever struggles are sent my way, it will all be made for my good.


so, here's to the next 1348 days. 

it must be a social work thing

"fear not. be of good cheer. the future is as bright as your faith.”

- thomas s. monson

June 5th, 2011:

My last testimony meeting before heading out and becoming a big shot "college girl". it was pretty predictable with the same people getting up, until one of the ward elders got up and talked about his mission. he went on to say that "there is no greater job than to be out on a mission" and the spirit burned my soul as those words rang so true to me personally. i was fasting about something else, but as i felt the spirit i asked My father if i should consider a mission, and the answer i got was to prepare for one, but know that the future is untold to me and could change. this was an unknown prayer answered for me.

August 1st, 2011: 

The guy i fell in love with my senior year, wrote his first letter to me in the MTC and told me how he really felt. He told me of his love for me, and his hopes that it will continue to grow into a more pure and christlike love, and his bigger hopes to one day take me to the temple and to be sealed to me, for eternity. This came as a shock to me, ket me assure you and YES i had happy tears all over my face. He was an answer to my prayers.

January 4th 2012:

I had been thinking about getting my Master's in Social Work, but felt so unassured. I'd prayed and prayed for months now, but i've found so many people doubting my abilities and my incredibly emotional heart for such a tough job. I went into my first social work class this particular day, and as Dr. Cox asked each of us why we were in that class, i told her how i know you have to be tough, you have to be understanding and you have to have a mighty heart for this field. I told her that this is what all my trials have been preparing me for, and immediately the same burning feeling touched my soul, as i asked my Father, "is this the job you have been preparing me for?" i literally felt Him saying "yes, chelsea, this is what i've prepared you for" by how much my body burned with the spirit. This was a longggg awaited answer to my prayers.

January 9th, 2012:

Once again, i sat in my social work class, and once again, i had an answer to my prayers. So many people have been doubting me about going on a mission, I get the classic answer "a girl like you can't last till they're 21 without being married." And you know what i say to you guys? A girl like me can. I know the church i belong to is true, and i know God has a plan for ME. As Dr. Cox talked about how tough it is to get into the Masters program, especially for a white girl like me, she said that knowing another language and missions help. And with the word mission, the spirit once again struck me.  then asked my Father again, am i suppose to go out and serve Thee on a mission? And with that, i got my answer. I know it's premature, i mean i am ONLY 19 1/4 years old... But i guess that just gives me more time t know and to prepare. Answers to prayers are sometimes only that answer, for a specific time.

January 10th, 2012

Today i've really been thinking about all of this. I want nothing more to be sealed to my husband, whoever and wherever he is, as soon as possible. As my grandpa told me, "a mission wont get you exalted, but a husband will" i knew he is right. But i can't deny His plans for me. Plans are subject to change, and that's the beauty of it. I may have got the revelation that i need to go on a mission because i need to prepare by knowing the doctrine more so that when i meet people in my everyday life, i will be prepared to teach them what i know and love, just as the Lord is preparing them to hear it. You're probably wondering why i included August 1st in my list of dates, and its because i really dont know who i will marry, if i'll end up going on a mission, or if it will be serving a mission with my husband. But what i do know is that right now, i have the spirit in my life to teach me what i should be preparing or, to answer my prayers, and to allow me to speak with my Father in heaven. I just have to allow myself to  let go, and trust Him to take me where i need to be.

Trust Him

Lately i've been reminded that life never goes your way, but always our Father's way. Life is stressful, hard, and discouraging. Life is frustrating, and misleading. One thing i've learned, is that the Lord always leads it towards him, if you just grasp onto his hand and let him take you with Him.

About a week ago, cancer took my sweet Aunt Shannon's body. This woman is amazing, let me tell you, and her life has not had its shortages in trials. As i've had my personal trials lately (details to come), i catch myself thinking back to my aunt, and how i can't possibly think of a time when she didn't have a smile on that beautiful face of hers. At her funeral today, it was made even more apparent just how truly remarkable she was. I think what i admire most about her, is the fact that Kevin, her 18 year old son, has Cerebral Palsy, and she treasures him more than gold. As her brother shared sweet things about Shannon, he mentioned Shannon and Kevin's meeting in the after life, when Kevin will simply hug her, pick her up in his arms, and say i love you mom, thank you. It was about then when my step mom walked in with my sweet Dallan. I turned to him, listening to Shannon's brothers words about Kevin, and as i sat feeling the spirit so strong, i started crying just picturing the day that Dallan will be able to hold me instead, and tell me how much he loves me. When Dallan finally saw me at this point, it took him a minute to recognize me,  he started smiling and signed "i love you".  words cannot explain how much that moment means to me, and how much that one moment has made the years of sacrificing little things to take care of him, all worth it. i love you dallan jacob and i cannot wait to meet YOU as an even more perfect spirit and human being. im pretty convinced he's going to look like me (since im the odd ball looking like no one in my family), he'll have only thee coolest dance moves (any time music is on, he goes straight to the source and jams out.. so cute) and he'll probably be a tad bit over weight since lets get real, his size may fool you but this kid can eat more than anyone i know. Dallan, Shannon, and Kevin, i can't wait for our meeting all together in heaven someday.

Soooo for the stressers in life. American Heritage. We have a love hate relationship. I'm not going to go into details, but needless to say when i got the news that my paper was being accused of plagiarism, i wanted to cry (let me assure you, it is NOT. this is why im so frustrated.) I have a B in that class, and if they make me take it again for false accusations on their part, my life will probably be ruined for a few seconds. Stresser #2. I have had the flu/ having a lack of gall bladder makes me throw up super easy, no joke for over a week and a half. That in itself gets real annoying, and real discouraging. It's hard not to lose faith and have fear, especially when the big F word (finals, ew) are in just a short few days. On Wednesday, i was especially discouraged and especially weak, so i got to my knee's and asked the Lord to send someone my way, and that is when my sweet Mel Bell (pictured right) sent me a text simply saying "Hey Beautiful, I love you". I texted her back saying thank you so much, i needed that, and she replied with an email of a poem that i want to share.

Wait

by Russell Kelfer 

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; 

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. 

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . . 

And the Master so gently said, "Wait." 

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply. 

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word. 

"My future and all to which I relate 

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait? 

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign, 

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign. 

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, 

We need but to ask, and we shall receive. 

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply." 

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate, 

As my Master replied again, "Wait." 

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, 

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?" 

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . . 

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. 

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun. 

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be. 

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me. 

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint. 

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

and with that, meet grant robert jones. i claim his as my best friend

even if he doesn't do the same.

Right after i finished that poem, i went straight to my phone and asked grant for a blessing. I'm not going to share everything in the blessing, because it is something so sacred and dear to me, but the first thing he said was that MY Lord wanted me to know that he loved me. He wanted me to know that my health will not affect my schooling, and to know just that simple reassurance warmed me. I know i should know this by now, but i had to re learn right there to always trust the Lord, because even if everything in our eyes is going wrong, eternally, it's not as long as we do our

 part. 


I think it's time that i realize to give up on planning my life. Sure, we can and should all have hopes and ambitions and wants and goals, but most importantly, what we should have is trust. Trust HIM. Trust your brother, who sacrificed so much for you. Trust him to know that your life has a plan, that the plan is perfect, even if the details to getting there aren't. Trust Him when you feel like every  single trial has been placed upon your plate, to know that these are only in your life to make you BETTER, not bring you down. Trust Him, when you aren't receiving answers, and know that patience is required, and a plan is waiting. Trust Him, and i know life will be more than OK, it'll be absent of any flaws, it'll be beautiful, and it'll be perfect for you. 

http://thewridefamily.blogspot.com/2011/11/life-lessons-by-shannon.html

Lesson #3

Let me tell you about a man i love. A man so humble, he simply chose to go by Father. Though he doesn't walk with me here on earth, he places people in my path to carry me through the tough times.

Today in my strengthening marriage and family class (i know what you're all thinking... NO i'm not anxious to get married) we talked about the role of a father. The role of a father is to preside, provide, AND protect. The role of a father is vital. The role of a father is sacred. The role of a father is necessary, especially to his daughter.

This topic is always so sensitive to my spirit, and yeah i'll admit i usually end up walking out on these discussions, but as i sat teary eyed and broken hearted, i prayed to know if this lesson had something to offer me, something that would mend my broken heart. I decided right then to pour out my spirit so that the holy ghost could fill my heart with what needed to be in it, and not what i thought should or would fix it. As i listened to all the things a father should be, what a father's relationship does for his daughter, and the detriments of not having a father in ones life, i recognized how blessed i am. Sure i wish things were different, but because of how things are now, i take claim and have gotten close to many dads. Most importantly though, it has enabled me to get closer to the one Father i need most. My Heavenly Father. Through my trials, instead of turning to my earthly father for comfort, i've always gone straight to my Heavenly Father. I know he loves me. I know i am one of HIS choice daughters, because i have felt it and been blessed to know it for a fact by all the trials and blessings he has sent my way to refine me and make me stronger and better and one step closer to Him. I'll take all the trials in the world, just to be closer to Him. I think back to Jesus' Atonement. Never once did He ask "what's in it for me?" and boy am i glad he didn't, otherwise there would be no redemption and no way back to my loving Father. He could have walked away from this. He could have been selfish in a time where anyone of this earth would have been. But he didnt, and he wasn't because he is our Christ. He went through with the pain and bleeding of every pore because he cared about me personally.

I've been a little down lately here at the great BYU. I felt inadequate. I felt like nothing sets me apart from all the amazing individuals. I felt like i couldn't handle all the pressure of being here with a back as bad as mine. On the days where my throwing up gets bad, i felt hopeless and discouraged. But then i remember the advice i gave my own friend on his mission who has been struggling with similar feelings. Our Father places us in situations we feel like we don't measure up to so that we can work up to that and grow. He places us in situations where we are tried so hard that we want to give up, but knows we wont and that we'll face the trial with faith. When we are comfortable, there is absolutely no room for growth. It's when we're thrown into muddy puddles that challenge us to get up, brush off our knee's, cleanse our souls and serve. Serve until we lose ourselves, because we don't want the old us. We want to find the new individual who is one step closer to our Father, and one step closer to earthly perfection. 

I stayed in class today because my Father needed me to learn something. He needed me to reflect on my trials and ask myself where my priorities are. He needed me to ask myself where my heart is. And he needed me to put my heart in the right place. My heart is with my Savior, and my Father in Heaven. When a trial comes, i'll give Him my heart, mind, and my soul and ask Him to fill it up with what feelings and knowledge i need to learn. I'll turn to others who are less fortunate then i am, and humbly help them become better. As i lift others, i know i will be lifted and that's ultimately why i am here. To be lifted up little by little until i see my Father's hands, with my name printed in them, outstretched for ME to lift me all the way into his harms. I cannot wait for that day. 

I am so grateful to be at a university that helps me reflect on being better, and helps me remember that my life is so beautiful. I am so grateful to be at peace right now with where i am in my life. I am so grateful for the people i associate myself with who build me up and make me want to be better. I am grateful for my sweet Dallan who may still be in Aizona, but whose spirit is always close to my heart when i need him most. I am grateful for my family who has been by my side with every struggle to ease my pain. And last, i am so grateful for all the father's who claim me as their daughter, taught me, and have given me a piece of their heart to always carry with me.

My mama told me that when someone touches your life, you should always write down the memories and feelings, because the feelings never go away,they just simply get pushed to the side by events in our lives. Let me tell ya about someone who's touched my life tremendously. I met him in October, DAYS before my 18th birthday when him and his friends pulled up to me and my friends while ordering in the drive thru at you guessed it... Filibertos. I didn't really get to know him until December, but that doesnt mean he taught me any less than he should have.  Looking back at my senior year, i couldn't picture it without this fella. Memories with him are countless and he truely became a great comfort to me and an answer to my prayers without him even realizing. My brothers are honestly my life, and since my dad isn't the greatest influence on them and in our lives much, i kept praying someone would come into their lives to teach them how they need to prepare for a mission. At the same time, this guy was preparing for his mission, and couldnt have been a better examplar tthem through his courage, strength, independence, faith, and love for others.


One way he personally helped me was showing me that i deserve more than some rotten scum bag. I've always struggled trusting guys, ever since my dad. I figured all guys were the same. They'll suck you in, get you to trust them and love them, then walk away. He was different. I never struggled trusting him, which was weird.. He was someone i knew i could rely on, and someone i knew was sincere in all things he did in his life. Heavenly Father knew just what i needed in my life at the time we crossed paths. He knew i needed someone to prepare me for my future companion. He knew i needed someone to teach me that i can trust. Most of all, he knew i needed someone to raise the bar for whoever i marry, and that i shouldnt settle for anyone less than what i saw in who the Lord sent to teach me.


I think my favorite quality about him is his sweet ability to love, and have people love him back. His love is purely a Christlike love and nothing less. I remember Valentines Day, we went out to dinner, and he said something to me that'll never leave my heart... "Whenever i'm having a hard day, i like to think of Dallan, or just go sit with him. He has the toughest trial, but he's so happy and content with little things and loves life." I basically wanted to fall in love right then and there, cause if you know me, you know Dallan Jacob  has my whole heart and for anyone to appreciate Dallan as much as i do... well lets just say it brings me to tears.


Another thing he has taught me is that i need to love the people i serve, no matter how rude, ungrateful, gross, weird, different, or selfish someone is ESPECIALLY on the days where the last thing i want to do is serve someone else. Recently, I could always tell the days when he had been out serving. He was just genuinely happier. Simple as that.


Last night was bitter sweet saying bye to him. He'll always be a great friend to me, and someone i admire. I can't even imagine the growth he's going to have as he goes and serves the Lord's people on his mission and i dont doubt he already loves the people there. I am SO grateful to have had a friend like him in my life, and feel SO blessed to see the reasons why he was placed in my life, at this very time.


I think the most important lesson he's helped me learn is to be grateful. Grateful for trials, grateful for friendships, grateful for family, and most important, grateful for opportunities to grow from the people in our paths and be blessed.

“A friend is one with whom you are comfortable, to whom you are loyal, through whom you are blessed, and for whom you are grateful.” -Arthur Ward